HOW do you demonstrate that you care about a person?
For some, it may be by gift giving; for others it could be a helpful hand; some demonstrate their care through cooking.
What about the gift of genuine listening? Sounds easy, but is it?
Think about a time when you were talking to someone about something important to you and realised they weren’t actually listening.
They were distracted and looking at their phone.
Or perhaps they didn’t agree with you and you realise they’re already building an argument in their mind against what you’re saying.
Or maybe you could sense a subtle shift in their body, their eyes had glazed or they were fidgeting, looking like they wanted to leave. How did you feel in that moment?
Now think about a time when you felt truly heard.
Something about the way the person looked at you while you were talking, felt like you were the only person that mattered.
When they reflected back what you had said, you knew they really got it.
You felt this connection with them, that they really cared about you.
It’s not hard to see how we have become poor listeners in a world of distraction.
It’s easier to be entertained than give our full attention to listening.
Our preference is easy fix solutions than to devote time for someone to find their way as we listen to them.
We are more comfortable with being right than listening to someone we disagree with.
Genuine listening involves being fully present, listening with the whole body, and refusing to fix, judge, or immediately respond.
This is listening with the intent to build connection with another, helping them to feel truly heard and valued.
In his book, Caring Enough to Hear, David Augsburger writes “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”
Feel heard … feel known … feel seen … feel loved.
