At the end of the second World War, Japanese communities recognised that their returning soldiers were not prepared for reentering humane society.
Their sole identity during their formative years had been ‘loyal soldier’. They were programmed for combat, survival, authoritative obedience; skills that kept them alive in war.
However, they needed a broader identity to rejoin community and become useful citizens.
So these communities created a communal ritual where a soldier was publicly thanked and praised effusively for his service to the people.
An elder would announce, “The war is now over! The community needs you to let go of what has served you and served us well up to now. The community needs you to return as a man, a citizen and something beyond a soldier!”
Life is a journey of transitions which are traditionally acknowledged by rites of passage such as initiations, walkabouts, milestone birthday celebrations.
These symbolic ceremonies make explicit the leaving behind of one chapter and the embracing of the next.
When we drift from one stage of life to another without ceremony, we have no clear crossover and unwittingly bring our former identity with us.
Identity forged in our family of origin, particularly if we had a childhood that taught us to be vigilant, self-protective, independent, will not serve us well in our adult relationships. There are continual transitionsthroughout our life that require us to discharge our loyal soldier for a different way of being.
Transitions are opportunities to assess the attributes, attitudes and values we carry and consider a broader identity that accommodates new roles and evolving relationships.
Discharging your loyal soldier is not an easy task but the process liberates you to embrace new perspectives, consider possibilities and uncover an authentic version of yourself.
By Linda Gray
