Assumed intent is the tendency to make assumptions about the motives of another person’s actions or words.
Mainly our assumptions tend to err toward negativity, a trait fuelled by our internal protector who is always on the lookout for signs of emotional risk.
Unconfirmed beliefs about a person’s motives can breed anger, hurt or discouragement; also corrosion to relationships.
You end up making strong responses to a phantom reality that may be far removed from the person’s actual feelings and motives.
It’s common to assume others are acting with ill intent when they slight, ignore or inconvenience us.
For example, if another driver cuts you off or a salesperson doesn’t make eye contact, don’t assume a personal attack.
They could be distracted, overwhelmed or having a really bad day.
Typically, people are busy, forgetful or simply lacking necessary skills or competence.
Hanlon’s Razor is a mental model rule of thumb proposed in the 1980’s.
It states “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”
While I don’t recommend you attribute stupidity to everyone who annoys you; the principle here is that it will work out better for your wellbeing if you don’t take other’s thoughtless behaviour personally.
By giving others the benefit of the doubt, we reduce our personal stress and minimise conflict.
This doesn’t mean putting up with bad behaviour.
Positive assumptions can be also be inaccurate.
However, you’ll always respond better to a situation if you don’t allow negative assumptions to control your response.
In the face of negative intentions, we can choose to respond by maintaining control of our emotions and recognise when we’re about to sabotage a conversation that might just be what the person needed to hear.
