EMPATHY is defined as understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.
Empathy enables us to feel connected to others, strengthening our social bonds.
Lack of empathy is emotional indifference while too much empathy can lead to personal distress.
Researchers recently identified three types of empathy.
Most common is Thinking empathy. Have you ever listened to someone’s tragic story and not been able to get it out of your head? This is particularly experienced by those like myself, who have vivid imaginations. Their story plays out in your head while lying in bed at night, robbing you of peaceful sleep.
Then there is Feeling empathy. This is experienced in the immediacy of hearing one’s story. You have an emotional response. You may also experience the feeling in your body. Your stomach churns, you may notice muscles becoming tense or your headache.
There are pitfalls to be aware of when it comes to identifying with another’s suffering.
It takes great effort to understand someone on an emotional level and not have this impact on other parts of our life.
When left unchecked it leads to emotional exhaustion with little left to give our loved ones.
This is where the third empathy is needed. Compassion empathy moves beyond feeling and understanding to take proactive steps in support of the person. When we move beyond thinking and feeling and take action we create a clear separation between us and their story.
Beware, your actions must come with boundaries.
You can’t be all things to someone.
Every bit of help matters.
Your efforts are meaningful, even for a brief moment.
Learn to move through empathy by taking some form of action and accepting your limits; that’s healthy empathy.
