Who remembers the movie What Women Want?
Mel Gibson’s character gets his wish to understand women by receiving the ‘gift’ of mind reading.
This superpower might seem appealing, but in the end it didn’t work out so well for Mel.
Mind reading can be a useful tool to help us understand one another.
Every day we unconsciously engage in deciphering what others are thinking.
Certain nonverbal behaviours and verbal reactions give us clues into a person’s inner world. This type of mind reading is helpful for opening up further conversation.
However, mind reading can become problematic when it replaces communication.
If we constantly rely on mind reading we develop an inaccurate story of how others perceive us.
For example, you might arrive at work a few minutes late, convinced that your colleagues are annoyed at you.
You might notice you’re the only person sitting alone in the cinema and start feeling uncomfortable that everyone notices and feels sorry for you.
This type of mind reading wreaks havoc with our mood.
Mind reading mishaps often occur in relationships.
When we assume we know what is going on in someone’s mind, we don’t bother asking them. It becomes a barrier to true understanding and fuels disconnection.
We make decisions based on what we think the other person wants or thinks, when our assumptions are completely wrong.
Be aware that all of us have limited perspective and particular biases.
The filter of our own self esteem causes us to mistakenly project what another person is thinking. Communication is essential.
Be receptive to others’ opinions and ask for clarification if needed.
Breaking free of the mind reading fallacy will enhance your interactions and relationships.
