Two major roles of parents are to protect and to socialise their children.
In today’s world these two roles are often at odds with each other.
Parents face the challenge of protecting their children from people and things that are harmful to their wellbeing while helping their children meaningfully connect with a world outside the family.
Parents today have less control over information while shouldering more responsibility.
With limited community support, parents have to work harder to provide for their children.
Traditionally, family has been the environment where education of the heart is done.
Children learnt from their family what to love and value.
Today’s parents are fed the advice they shouldn’t impose their values on their child. However, children are not blank slates. If parents don’t teach their child values, culture will.
Families give feedback to their members.
They tell the truth, as they see it, about irritating habits, unacceptable behaviour and poor choices.
That type of honest feedback is discouraged in most settings but it’s what keeps us grounded and sensible. Those who are isolated and outside of ordinary feedback loops are often those who end up in trouble.
Author Shirley Abbot wrote “Love was what you felt for your parents; that mix of need, anxiety, trust, anger and ease.” Our most happiest and most tragic experiences are connected with family. Family produces enormous pain and joy and all emotions in between.
Families are made up of flawed, complex individuals who often fail each other in important ways.
Despite this, research shows that children do better in this complex matrix of connected relationships than they would in an environment of strangers and technology.
Long may the institution of family remain valued and relevant.
